the last of the old myspace blog

This was back from Jan 5 2009 I wrote this after an awesome night in bible school!!
  I am so fired up right now i just can't shut up!!! So let me start at the begining..(are you ready this is gonna be long) I am not one of those people who got saved as a teenager and had to totally turn my life around. God has always been a part of my family. While we had issues (as any family does) I knew who Jesus was and I knew he loved me and my family. I got saved at the age of 8 yrs old (theres a really funny story to that as well..for another time) and even then I knew God was calling me to ministry and he had big plans for me. Jump ahead a few years and i'm 13. At this time although my parents love the lord they are working like dogs and we are not attending church anywhere. It should be said that I lived in a very small town we had methodist or babtist...(nothing against either religion) but i had been taught about the fullness of God and being filled with the spirit and wanting all he had for me so those religions just didn't fit...God does not need to be put in a box. For a short while i attended the youth group at one of the local churches and i loved it...but something was still missing. Then this man came to work for my mom and he was so on fire for God...he went on and on about his church and i finally gave in and went. Wow!! i was blown away!! The worship was wonderful and i just felt Gods love everywhere!!! I talked my parents into coming and we were all home! The youth group in that church gave me my foundation. We had an incredible teacher that gave the tools we needed to go out and preach the gospel with or without adults. I stayed there all through high school and really grew up in the lord. During my senior year i well....i hit a bump in the road..thats all that needs to be said. Right after said bump the youth group went on a trip to indiana to a youth confrence. While their God was confirming many of the dreams and visions he had laid on my heart so many years ago...and then...someone prayed for me and spoke over me that I was called to be a prayer warrior for christ...this made alot of sense. Especially since most of my family young and old always seemed to be coming to me when they were needing a break through. I took it and ran with it..At the end of my senior year i wasn't sure what to do. My mother had been to this retreat at a bible school called Texas Bible Institute. She came home and told me that would be a great place for me to go. ( i never had plans to go to collage..just not for me. I knew i was supposed to focus on ministry) A few weeks later our youth went to a camp at the same school. I knew that i knew that was the place for me! It was amazing!! I was finally getting the training i had been yearning for. However i was choosing not to focus on the academic part. I really didn't allow myself to soak in all the word that i could. I lived for retreats and camps!!! Then One weekend one of my friends and i decided to go home to her house for the weekend. And her boyfriend who i couldn't stand came along. He was such a jerk!! rude sarcastic, snarky! Ughhh i couldn't stand him!!! the only good thing was he could play the guitar and he had a nice voice. Jump ahead to christmas break and she tells me she met someone else and when she got back to school she was done with him!! Now by this point i didn't hate him anymore....still thought he was annoying though. But i felt sorry for the poor sap..so when we came back from break i picked up the pieces of his shattered heart.  I was just trying to be nice...i may not have liked him but no one deserved to be treated the way he was! Next thing i know we are sitting in the prayer garden at school and he is telling me about his life and his family and all of a sudden i was like woa..this guy is no jerk..he's perfect!!! So yes from that moment on He and i were inseparable. We hit a rough patch the summer in between. He was in mexico working with his parents ministry and i was in TX!! long distance sucks!! but all that is a different story for a different time. By the time 2nd year came around we both new this was it!!! its funny someone walked up to us one day and asked if we were gonna get married ( we hadn't really even talked about it) and we both at the same time said yes.  Hey, when you know,you know!:) so we graduated and he moved to my parents house with me. That was the only way for it to work otherwise he was gonna go back to mexico and i wasn't. Let me just tell all of you singles out there...don't ever live together before you get married!! even if its at your parents house and he is sharing a room with your brother!! it sucks!!! a year later we were married..now although i knew who i was in christsooo smart. I did the stupid thing of letting the devil lye to me and tell me that my dreams and visions weren't important and he was the only thing that was. That was so stupid!!!God brought us together to work for him together....together our individual dreams and visions make the big picture with out both it doesn't work!!!! So married and happy..yet missing something we lived our newly married life. A year later we had a baby girl!! Becoming a mom was sooo terrifying!! God was trusting me to raise this baby to be a strong woman of God for him while i felt like all my strength was gone!! (spiritually) over the next year He and went to church and i tried joining the choir but nothing was really sticking. We had graduated bible school got married and now we were doing nothing!! We began praying for God to show us what to do or where to go.  We tossed around the idea of moving to idaho(thats where all his family is from and he hadn't been with them in 7 years) when my daughter was old enough for school. But during that summer He was really feeling a pull to move now!! My answer was hell no!! I was not leaving my family and my home for Idaho!! what the heck is there in Idaho!! a month later we went to idaho for a family reunion with his family. I was really feeling the pressure now. Not from him..from God. (which i was strongly ignoring) I told God fine!!! you want me to move i'm gona be there for 3 days find me a church in 3 days and i'll do it! but i WON'T church hop!! Guess what he did. We walked in to this church his family went to, and i hadn't even heard the pastor or the worship yet and i knew that this was where i was supposed to be!! when we came home we began talking about how all this would happen. in August he got fired from his crappy job and that was it. Much to my mothers grief we were moving!!! In Sept we had My daughters first birthday party and the next weekend we packed up all we could in my little neon and his little truck and we drove 3 days to idaho! We stayed for a few months with family and then moved into this little shack of a house. where we stayed for the next 3 years!!! Now when God tells you he is moving you half way across the country to plant you and use you in a church...and your a bible school graduate, you think (foolishly) that immediately your going to be doing all he has for you!!!! hahahaha!!! yea no...there was still alot of growing and stretching to be done!! There was a time when i thought maybe we made a mistake but God reassured me this is where he wants me. after 3 years of being faithful with our little old ugly house we finally moved into the beautiful home we are in now. Last year i really felt the urge to join the bible school here at church but it just wasn't right yet. This past summer God told me..Now!! no questions no second guessing its time now!! So i signed up. But honestly i wasn't sure why! I had already done bible school...and had fantastic training why should i do this again lord? But as classes started little pieces of me were starting to come back. Pieces i forgot i even had. It had been years since i had a real prayer life. And these classes...i was just soaking up the word!! (still am) I came home with this revelation a few weeks ago...that instead of letting God be the center of my house he was who i called on time of need. I had put that bold fiery praying preaching girl on a back shelf to sit and be quiet. Suddenly i was wanting to do more learn more more more more. Then this past nov and dec..God really began preparing me for this new year!! Showing me bits and pieces of things to come!! Yet still part of me was a little intimidated. So last night we had impromptu  speeches. (pick a scripture out of a bucket and share something) I had prayed on the way to school for God to give me something that wouldn't be easy but would really bring revelation. Well the revelation wasn't for everyone else it was for me!! The scripture i got was Ephesians 3:10 to the intent that now the manifold grace of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and and powers in the heavenly places. Now there is way way more to this scripture than just the tiny bit that was meant for me last night. But for this time and purpose that was God telling me. I made you to be a fighter and and singer and all the other things he has called me too. to be KNOWN IN THE HEAVENS AND HELL! See the devil used to really know who i was..he should have i battled him all the time. sometimes just to remind him who has the victory. to rub it in his face! but over the last ten years that part of me went silent. I did my 3 minutes sat back down went through class (all the while god using the rest of class to show me all this even bigger) came home and was still so fired up! I mean i prayed and sang and rejoiced in my car all the way home! I could feel it! Like I was alive again! I went to bed last night with such peace!! Well....not for long! all this awakening in me made the devil mad. And let me tell you he hit me hard!! about 3:30 this morning i woke up from a horrible dream....the kind that makes you sweat and cry even after your awake. I prayed a little, turned on some worship music, but i just couldn't get that icky feeling to go away! Then that old fiery part of me rose up like crazy. I recognized this was no dream!! this was satan attacking me! how dare he!!! he thought i would just give up like that!! on no i spent the next hour letting him know just where exactly his place was!! then i spent the next hour after that with God just filling me with words of knowledge and wisdom and visions!! Its like he opened heaven and flooded my room with his goodness and mercy and so so so many other things. He gave me a vison for my family for my marriage for so many things. Thank you lord for waking me up again!!!! the fighter and teacher and singer and all the other things i don't even know about is back!!! The devil thought he could just take me out like that!! HA! he's just given me more reason to push forward and prepare for things to come!! To all you Harvest Lifers.....God has got big things this year....embrace it fully!! do not be timid, do not put yourself in that box of i'm not worthy or its not for me!! its for all of us!!! Do what Psalm 9:1 says!!! praise him with your whole heart. Tell of all the marvelous things he has done for you. (that alone can be what someone else needs to come to the lord) Be glad and rejoice in him. (in him we have the victory) Sing praises to his name!!! Give everything...lay your life, your worries, your fears, all of it!! lay it at his feet and let him do his job. You will be far more blessed if you get out of the way and let him take it so he can in turn and pour out his blessings on your life. Remember....the victory is already ours!!! if the devil starts to nag at you and attack you PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!!! He has no right!!! Jesus (living in you) has already defeated him!! All we have to do is remind him and then move on and let the blessings of God flow in us and through us! that is how we will reach the lost souls....if his blessing and love are flowing in us and through us thats means they are touching all the ones around us!! Our job is simply to be a willing vessel for Jesus!!